Twisted Austen 2020: The Ladies of Norland

It's that time of year when I insist on overtaxing myself by writing a story that few will read and might prove detrimental to my career. Welcome to Twisted Austen, my annual event conceived in the spirit of Halloween but which really just serves to infuriate and confuse my fellow Janeites. That’s not being totally fair to myself. Some readers do actually seem to really like these stories, but I write them for my own amusement. It’s a space where I can explore ideas that really aren’t marketable.

Now that I have entranced you with that confident pitch, let me inform the uninitiated that this is an eight day event, beginning tomorrow, October 24th, and running through Halloween. I will post one part of this year's story each day, and then I will publish once complete. There are likely to be giveaways, as well (I've always offered them in the past, perhaps too many), if I can pull it together in time. 

Twisted Austen was born in the wake of the monster mash-up craze that overtook this genre after the publication of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Could Austen’s beautiful stories be rendered “horrid” even without imposing monster-filled dystopian realities on her stories? If nothing else, I think I’ve proven the answer to be an emphatic yes. Why would I want to attempt such a thing? I guess I am, myself, a little twisted. I actually treasure some of the worst reviews this series has received, in a way I never could for any of my other works, because the entire point is to be a bit appalling, while provoking the reader's imagination into doing the bulk of the dirty work for me.

I launched Twisted Austen in 2012 with Emma & Elton: Something Truly Horrid. The subtitle was meant as a warning but, nevertheless, many readers were truly dismayed. It is the most disturbing of the collection, exploring what could have happened had Mr. Knightley warned Emma not to be overly attentive to Mr. Elton. Still, I really don’t understand how anyone could expect a happy ending with such a title. My very favorite review for it on Amazon is one sentence long and only two stars: “It was written, but the plot itself is so cringe-worthy and horrifying that there’s really no reason to re-read it.” I know it’s probably against my better interests to further publicize such sentiments, but I just can’t help myself. For this story, cringe-worthy is a compliment. I did, however, listen to the reviews and tone it down a little bit the following year. Jane & Bingley: Something Slightly Unsettling is not nearly so devastating as Emma and Elton in its outcome. In fact, it adheres strictly to canon, which possibly angered readers even more. The most consistent complaint about the book is its abrupt ending, which I’m glad people found unsettling. I took a story my readers know like the back of their hands and offered a different perspective – not necessarily a probable one, just a possible one – and supported it with evidence from Austen’s original text. Readers, equipped with their perfect knowledge of forthcoming events, are then left to their own conclusions. This is where Twisted Austen stories collide with typical Halloween tales, ghost stories and horror films having long exploited the fact that what goes unseen is often what frightens most. At the same time, the concept is quintessentially Austenesque, dependent as it is on the reader's knowledge of Jane’s novels.

In 2014, I wrote Becoming Mrs. Norris, a prequel to Mansfield Park. It attempts to evoke sympathy for a despised character by endowing her with a tragic backstory. I published this story convinced no one would read it. Mansfield Park is notoriously hard to sell to JAFF readers. Little surprise, it pretty much tanked upon release, but when a few reviews finally did trickle in, they were far more positive than I had expected. I guess having the name “Mrs. Norris” in the title is a better deterrent for the feint-hearted than my more expository attempts to ward them off. Those of us who read Mansfield Park fan-fiction are a rare breed, and I think I self-selected an appreciative audience.

*Just a random note about book covers. I repurposed the artwork from Emma & Elton for Becoming Mrs. Norris (who wants to spend money on a book they don’t expect to be able to sell?). Also, and as you may have observed, Twisted Austen comes to you in color this year. I have long been in the process of changing the style of my covers, and this year's story, The Ladies of Norland, is the first publication to roll out the new look. 

For two years I had to abandon Twisted Austen. We relocated to Switzerland in late summer 2015, and it was a long struggle afterwards to reestablish regular writing habits. The fact that Halloween is not widely celebrated here was of little assistance. When I finally resurrected the event in 2017, I was in a decidedly more playful mood than in previous years, even as I continued to try and redeem the unredeemable. Part prequel and part perspective-shift, I am Lady Catherine envisions that lady’s life from the time of her marriage through the end of Pride & Prejudice. The reception for this story was, by far, the most positive of the entire series and a firm reminder to me that no matter how tempting it might be to push people’s buttons, it is way more fun to earn their praise than their censure. In 2018, I tried to build upon that "success," even while delving into a very delicate subject. Young Wickham is a sequel to Pride & Prejudice that relies heavily on the plot of Mansfield Park. Instead of the Bertrams taking in a niece, we find the Darcys inviting Lydia and Wickham’s oldest son to live at Pemberley. A lot of readers were expecting this to be about Wickham's youth and were taken aback to find the action takes place in the Victorian Era. Still, the reception was strong amongst those who read it.

I'm trusting that The Ladies of Norland has not such an off-putting title as some of my others. I've experienced another Twisted Austen hiatus, this time triggered by the birth of my son, and it is a small miracle that I managed to complete it at all. It is the first real work that I have accomplish since the pandemic began. As it is, I barely finished it in time, and it is significantly shorter than my other Twisted Austen books, definitely not qualifying for the grandiose title of "novella" to which the others aspire. As you've probably surmised, this one is Sense and Sensibility based. It's a reimagination premised on the idea of old Mr. Dashwood being more generous to our heroines than Austen rendered him. Unfortunately, sometimes adversity is better for us in the long run. It's actually sort of a hopeful theme for our chaotic times. So please, come by, read along, and gasp in shock if you must. A happy Twisted Austen to all! 

Strange Beauty Secrets from the Late 18th/Early 19th Centuries

When posting my Twisted Austen story I am Lady Catherine way back in 2017, I received a lot of comments regarding a reference to an 18th century beauty treatment called pigeon water. This is indeed a real thing, used by none other than Marie Antoinette, who was said to have bathed her face in it every day. I hunted down the recipe for its preparation in the 1832 text The Toilette of Health, Beauty, and Fashion (read it here). This comprehensive book covers a wide swath of topics, as indicated by its incredibly lengthy subtitle (see the image of the cover page – it’s WAY too long to reproduce). I imagine it was mainly marketed to lady’s maids and valets. I found the history provided of both beauty treatments and fashion very interesting, though I should warn the modern reader that many of the comments are decidedly lacking in political correctness. I was inspired by the interest in pigeon water (see the recipe for Denmark Lotion below) to transcribe a few of the more outlandish preparations for both your amusement and revulsion, many of which are virtually impossible to imagine producing without an army of servants and were certain to wreck havoc on the health. I doubt it needs be said but for forms sake, I ask that you please do not attempt any of these at home.

Note: a drachm is a liquid measurement once used by apothecaries, equal to one eighth of an ounce.

From Chapter VII: Of Hair Ointments, Powders, Oils, Waters, &c.

1.–Ointment for the Hair.

The editors of the “Dictionaire d’Industrie,” from which the following recipe is copied, assert that they have often witnessed the most surprising results from its use.

Take an ounce of beef marrow, to which add an ounce of grease skimmed from unsalted pot liquor, and boil them together in a pipkin. Strain this mixture, and add to it an ounce of the oil of ben. Let this be used occasionally, and the hair well combed and brushed, both before and after its use, to remove the previous scurf, and to work the preparation well into the roots of the hair, and along the tubes.

OBS.–Beef marrow applied moderately to the hair of the head nourishes it, and communicates to it a fine gloss, as may be frequently seen among butchers, who often apply it.  Whatever therefore nourishes, strengthens. The marrow also give it a disposition to curl. The oil of ben has long been entered into preparations for making the hair grow, and if a little of the essence of lemon, bergamot, or other other perfume were added, it would, at least, improve its fragrance, and preserve it against rancidity.

From Chapter VIII: Directions for Staining the Hair.

To stain Hair a light Chestnut Colour.

The hair is to be previously cleaned with dry bran, or warm water, in which alum has been dissolved. Then take two ounces of quick lime, which kill in the air; one ounce of litharge of gold, and half an ounce of lead ore. Reduce the hole to a powder, and sift it. Wet a small quantity of this powder with rose water ; rub the hair with it, and let it dry again in the air, and dry it with cloths a little warm. This powder does not stain the skin, like the wash made with aquafortis and assaying silver.

OBS.–It has been asserted that the hair may be stained black by impregnating it with lard, mixed with minium and lime ; but this composition, we apprehend, would produce only the chestnut colour of which we are here speaking. The hair may likewise be turned black by different vegetable substances boiled in wine, with which the hair is to be washed several times a day ; but this operation ought to be continued for some time. The substances usually preferred for the purpose are, leaves of the mulberry, myrtle, fig, senna, raspberry, arbutus, artichoke ; the roots of the caper tree ; the bark of the walnut and pomegranate ; the rinds of walnut, shumac, skins of beans, gall nuts, and cones of cypress. It is also necessary to use a leaden comb. The same object may be obtained by using a comb dipped in extract of lead.

From Chapter IX: On The Removal of Superfluous Hair

Depilatory of Ants Eggs.

A stronger depilatory is composed as follow: —

Take Gun of ivy, one once

Ants’ eggs }

Gum arabic } of each one drachm.

Orpiment }

Reduce these to a fine powder, and make it up into a liniment, with a sufficient quantity of vinegar. In pounding the materials, great precaution must be taken that the dust of the orpiment, which is a preparation of arsenic, be not inhaled.

OBS.–The formic acid, or acid of ants, may more easily be procured at the chemist’s, and will answer the purpose better than ants’ eggs, which are not to be had at all seasons.

To remove Hair from the Nostrils.

Take some very fine and clean wood ashes ; dilute them with a little water, and with the finger rub some of the mixture within the nostrils. The hair will be removed without causing the least pain.

OBS.– The hair of the nostrils, like those of the entrance to the ear, ought not to be removed, unless troublesome or unseemly ; they are the principal safeguards against the intrusion of insects, which might otherwise insinuate themselves into these delicate passages, to the great annoyance and danger of the individual thus invaded.

Portrait of Marie Antoinette, Queen of France.
Louise Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun. Oil on canvas, c. 1788. 
New Orleans Museum of Art.

From Chapter X: Cosmetics.

Denmark Lotion.

Take equal parts of bean-flower, and the water of the four cold seeds–namely, of pompion, melon, cucumber, and gourd, and of fresh cream ; beat the whole up together, adding a sufficient quantity of milk to make a wash, which apply to the face.

OBS.–This recipe is taken from the “Ami de Femmes.” Another writer says, that the cosmetic lotion used by the ladies of Denmark is totally different–it is what is called Eau de Pigeon (pigeon-water). It is composed as follows:–

“Take the juice of water-lilies, of melons, of cucumbers, of lemons, each one ounce; briony, wild succory, lily-flowers, borage, beans, of each a handful ; eight pigeons stewed. Put the whole mixture into an alembic, adding four ounces of lump sugar, well pounded, one drachm of borax, the same quantity of camphor, the crumb of three French rolls, and a pint of white wine. When the whole has remained in digestion for seventeen or eighteen days, proceed to distillation, and you will obtain pigeon-water, which is such an improvement on the complexion.”

 

A Pomatum to remove Redness, or Pimples in the Face.

Steep in clear water a pound of boar’s check till it becomes tolerably white ; drain it quite dry, and put it into a new glazed earthen pan with two or three hard pippins, quartered ; an ounce and a half of the four cold seeds, bruised, and a slice of veal about the size of the palm of your hand. Boil the whole together in a vapour bath for four hours, then with a string cloth squeeze out your pomatum into an earthen dish, placed upon hot ashes ; add to it an ounce of white bees’ wax and an ounce of the oil of sweet almonds, stir it with a wooden spatula till it becomes cold.

From Chapter XVI: Mouth, Tongue, Throat, Teeth, and Gums.

Another (Dentifrices).

Rub them with nettle or tobacco ashes, or with vine ashes, mixed with a little honey.

From Chapter XIX: Eyes and Nose.

For watery and inflamed Eyes.

Foment frequently with decoction of poppy heads ; when the irritation and inflammation occur, a teaspoonful of cogniac brandy, in four ounces of spring water, may be used three or four times in the course of the day as a strengthening lotion.

 

From Chapter XXI: Eyelashes.

The growth of the eye-lashes has been promoted, where they have been lost by sore eyes, by the following simple ointment:–

Take ointment of nitric oxyde of mercury; 2 drachms

Hogs lard – – – – – – – – – – 1 drachm

Incorporate the ointment well with the lard, and anoint the edges of the eye-lids night and morning ; washing after each time with milk and water, warm.

From Chapter XXIII: The Hands and Nails.

For Chapped Hands.

Take three drachms of bole ammoniac–three drachms of myrrh, and a drachm of white lead.–Incorporate these with a sufficient quantity of goose-grease ; and with this anoint the parts affected; and wear worsted gloves.

New Release - Mr. Darcy's Christmas Present: The Madness of Mr. Darcy Continues

I've been very remiss in promoting this (got a lot on my mind, now I am 8 months pregnant), but my short story, Mr. Darcy's Christmas Present: The Madness of Mr. Darcy Continues, was published on Kindle last week. Do check it out, especially if you are one of the many readers who told me they were wanting just a little bit more from the original story. Hopefully, this slim volume will satiate that need. The first review, by Rita of From Milton to Pemberley, was very flattering. She writes:

Mr. Darcy’s Christmas Present was the best Christmas gift Alexa Adams could have given me. She gave me a loving novella where all the characters I wanted to see again are present to give me closure to one of the most intense and amazing books I have ever read.

Wow! Leaves me beaming every time I read it.

Also, just a heads up, if you want to read I am Lady Catherine for free, do so now while the getting is good. I will be removing the posts in the next week or so, that I may enroll the book in the Kindle Unlimited program.

Hopefully, you will hear from me again before the bay arrives. Afterwards, I fear this blog will be even more neglected than it has been in the 2+ years since my move overseas. Thanks so much to those of you who continue to read it and support my writing. Happy holidays to all!

I am Lady Catherine: Part One

Part One – 1784

“Is it not gratifying to have the sound of music echoing about the house once more?” Lady Cat, as everyone called her, declared contentedly upon entering the morning parlor. She seated herself beside her eldest daughter and namesake, who was busily pursuing her work. “How wonderful it is to have Anne home once more.”

“She no longer considers Ecclestone Court her home, Mother,” Lady Catherine remarked.

Lady Cat might not have heard the comment, as she continued without regarding it. “Young Fitzwilliam has grown so fast, he seems not much the baby any longer. So very handsome, with such an astonishingly serious demeanor! The obvious intelligence with which he observes all that transpires about him might lead anyone to mistake him for a child twice his age.”

“He seems a very fine boy, but of course we are partial.”

“Nonsense! Everyone who sees him declares him the most magnificent baby ever encountered.”

“One must wonder to what degree his being the future master of Pemberley influences that perception.”

“You seem rather cross this morning, Catherine,” her mother observed. “Are you not pleased to have your sister home?”

“Pemberley is now Anne’s home, Mother, and yes, of course I am pleased to have her with us again.”

“You do not seem terribly happy about it,” Lady Cat commented smugly, settling back into the cushions of the sofa. “I suppose her presence is a reminder of your yet unmarried state?”

“It need not be, would you cease mentioning it.”

“What elder sister would not resent a younger sister of better fortune?” Lady Cat queried, paying no mind to her daughter’s complaint.

Lady Catherine put aside her work and looked seriously into her mother’s eyes. “I love my sister and my new nephew; you must know that, Mother.”

“Even the deepest affection has never been a barrier to jealousy amongst sisters, and no one would blame you for such feelings. It is only natural when Anne has made such a gratifying match, though not a noble one, and produced such a fine heir so soon.”

Lady Catherine stifled a retort, resuming her work instead of capitulating to her mother’s provocations.

“We gave you plenty of opportunity to find a match before bringing Anne out. If only you would endeavor to put yourself forward, I am certain you might have half of London at your feet.”

Lady Catherine eyed her mother skeptically. “Half of London can only see my feet, I dwarf the gentlemen so.” She patted her unpowdered hair with a hint of self-consciousness. “If only such towering wigs were not the fashion, I might fare better.”

“Ridiculous! You are barely an inch taller than I was at your age, and my height proved no hindrance to making an excellent match. You must merely smile more and flirt a little with the gentlemen. It is not so very difficult.”

“I cannot perform for strangers, Mother,” she said, concentrating fixedly on her embroidery. “They must take me as I am.”

“A serious fault in your education! I suppose I must take responsibility for that. Mrs. Spencer tried her best with you, I am sure, or as well as she could with such an unyielding personality. Anne certainly prospered under her tutelage. A lady must perform for the world. It is expected of us. After you are married, you might command things as you choose, but until that time, I do wish you would endeavor to render yourself more pleasing.” She rose with a dramatic sigh and began pacing the room. “You might at least have been more diligent towards your instrument. If you had a talent to highlight your natural nobility, as Anne does, you would show better.”

“I could not tolerate the music master, as you well know.”

“Signor Abatescianni is the most sought after harpsichord instructor in London! Your father paid a vast sum to secure him for you girls, and see how you squandered the opportunity!”

“He pinched, Mother. It was intolerable.”

“You foolish girl! What is a little pinch or prod here and there? You can expect much worse from the gentlemen in town.”

“So I have learned,” Lady Catherine tersely replied, redoubling her concentration on her work as the multiple humiliations in the wandering hands of so-called gentlemen intruded upon her memory, “but I ought not suffer such treatment from a mere musician!”

“You are entirely too nice in your notions, Catherine! Senior Abatescianni knew better than to overstep the proper boundaries. Anne never complained of him.”

“Anne’s notable talent kept his attention focused elsewhere. My plodding performance was not so distracting.”

Lady Cat stopped her pacing and directed a piercing gaze upon her daughter. “Well, that is now beside the point. Signor Abatescianni has moved on to more promising students, and you remain unmarried. I have little power over the former situation, but I intend to do something about the latter.”

Lady Catherine gazed up at her mother wearily. “And what would that be?”

“Your father has invited Sir Lewis de Bourgh to stay with us after Anne and Darcy depart.”

Lady Catherine betrayed not a trace of emotion at this announcement, returning her attention to her embroidery before replying, “I have never heard of him.”

“He is recently returned to England after several years abroad and is interested in finding an appropriate match and settling down.”

“And what is that to me?”

“Do not be impossible! You know we mean him for you! He has seen your portrait and expressed interest in making you an offer.”

If Lady Catherine nearly dropped a stitch at this announcement, no one could have detected it, so determined was her sangfroid. “I know not how he can have formed such a notion without ever having met me.”

“He has purchased an estate in Kent, Rosings Park, of great potential. The land is good, but the house is in need of improvement, and a handsome dowry would go far towards its refurbishment.”

“Ah,” Catherine replied, still without looking up. “That is his only property, I presume?”

“Yes.”

“Then not a baronet.”

“He was knighted for diplomatic services performed for the crown while in Spain.”

She finally returned her eyes to her mother’s imperious face. “So you intend for me to wed a knight of poor estate? I suppose you really have lost all hope of anything better if this is to be my fate.”

“You have had ample opportunity to do better yourself, yet you have squandered it. Now, while Anne is still with us, she will tutor you in the performance of at least one, preferably two pieces with competence on the harpsichord that you might entertain Sir Lewis in the evenings. You recite well, so prepare some flowery pieces for his amusement. You are to put your best foot forward, my girl! I will not have you ruin yet another good prospect with your haughty ways. If Sir Lewis wishes to talk with you, you will smile and flirt with him. If he requests your company in the garden, you are to walk with him, and if his hands should wander to your person, well, it is only to be expected that he would want to inspect what he is buying before finalizing the purchase.”

“Mother!” Her composure finally rattled, Lady Catherine’s cheeks flushed at this suggestion.

Lady Cat smirked, pleased to have finally unnerved her daughter. “It is well past time you recognized the world for what is it, Catherine. Do you think you might remain aloof and distant in the marriage bed? The sooner you resign yourself to overcoming this intolerable prudery, the better for us all.”

“I cannot believe you have not pride enough to be repulsed by such notions,” Lady Catherine exclaimed. “Am I not an earl’s daughter? Ought the descendent of noble blood on both sides allow herself to be subjected to the disrespectful advances of a common man?”

“You think entirely too much of yourself, my girl, and Sir Lewis is not so common as you suggest. The family is of Norman descent and can trace their ancestry farther back than we can. His cousin, the Earl of Clanricarde, is extremely influential.”

Catherine sneered. “An Irish peer?”

“One with whom an alliance would well benefit your father!” Lady Cat threw up her hands in frustration and began pacing once more. “I do not know how else to get through to you other than promise you, Catherine, that you are not too old or proud to suffer a thorough beating should my will be thwarted in this. Do not test me! The alliance is a desirable one, and when you think on it further, you will see the advantages in marrying a man whose estate is his to dispose of as he will. You are not getting any younger. Do not spoil your chances of being properly settled in life. Now, I suggest you retire to your room to consider the matter properly.”

“Yes, Mother,” replied Lady Catherine coldly, summoning all her poise to raise gracefully and calmly exit the room. She maintained her reserved pace and demeanor as she passed through the halls, nodding in acknowledgement to the servants who curtseyed and bowed to her along the way, until she reached the sanctuary of her own rooms, where she promptly burst into tears.

**********

Over the next several weeks, Lady Catherine was forced to practice the harpsichord for several hours daily, eat a special diet of cold meats, bathe in pigeon-water, and squeeze into a new and excruciating corset. She bore it all without complaint, though her brain was in a constant state of rebellion. She was certain she would loathe Sir Lewis, though she was determined, nonetheless, to charm him. She would not tolerate again being accused of shirking her daughterly duties, nor was she willing to bear any more of her mother’s increasingly tyrannical methods of marrying her off. If Sir Lewis proved at all tolerable, or even better, pliant, she would have him. To finally be her own mistress had become the all-consuming goal.

There was another matter that checked her mutinous impulses. If in nothing else, Lady Cat was correct on one point: Lady Catherine hated having her sister so well-established while she, the eldest, remained on the shelf. It was a terrible blow to her notable pride to yield to Anne in precedence. Sir Lewis might not be noble, but his rank was high enough to ensure that proper order was restored. A title was worth something, no matter how lowly. The world would always value a Sir above a mere Mister, no matter how great an estate he owned.

When Sir Lewis finally made his eagerly awaited appearance at the earl’s table, Lady Catherine found him more to her liking than she had imagined. Certainly, he was shorter than she, and his frame was small enough that she felt much like an Amazon beside him, but he had a good figure, carried himself with grace and dignity, and showed every symptom of infatuation with the young lady of the house. Many a more stalwart woman had capitulated to such sincere flattery as that with which the young knight daily plied her. She was, furthermore, much relieved to find that he had not the disrespectful and ambling hands her mother had ordered her to indulge. She was, therefore, perfectly at ease entertaining him in the garden on several occasions, knowing she was not in danger of molestation. Her mother’s words, on the other hand, were almost as invasive.

“He sets you up like a Juno to worship on a throne,” Lady Cat gloated one evening, perhaps under the influence of too much of the earl’s best wine. “You appear an amusing enough couple, with him being so slight beside you, but I have heard of gentlemen who quite thrive on the notion of conquering large, indomitable women like yourself. Once you are married, you might find he has unusual tastes in bed.”

“Mother!” admonished her scandalized daughter. “He has not yet declared his feelings for me in any way. Such talk is entirely premature, as well as offensive. Sir Lewis has been a thorough gentleman in all our interactions.”

“Oh yes, I can see that he has been, or your embarrassment by such talk would have eased by now. You young people are so puritanical in your notions. What a very dull world we shall have when you are in charge! With any luck, I will have seen you all married, greeted my grandchildren, and moved on before that sad day.”

The anticipated proposal took place the day before Sir Lewis’s departure. Having followed form by soliciting the earl’s permission, he proposed in the arbor, where the two often strolled. He was accepted graciously, and if the bride were not in raptures, her satisfied smile provided sufficient gratification to the young knight’s sensibilities. As his carriage lumbered away the following morning, the combined promise of an elevated marriage and bountiful dowry saw him both complacent and sanguine about his prospects.         

As for the future bride, she refused to allow herself any reservations regarding the change coming upon her in a few months’ time. The prospect of being mistress of her own home, the renovation of which Sir Lewis had promised to allow her the direction, was diverting enough to keep her mind from any sense of discontent. Further, the attention her engagement garnered from her friends was pleasing. Lady Anne sent an enthusiastic letter, complete with visions of their children playing together in the years to come. What having said children might entail was banished from Lady Catherine’s mind; she would contend with such unpleasantness when the need arose.

In the meantime, Lady Cat had mercifully left off tormenting her daughter, as her mind was more happily engaged in buying clothes and planning the wedding breakfast. Catherine let her mother have her own way in all such matters, so happily did they keep her occupied. It was left to her only to complacently accept congratulations, receive presents, and count the days until she was her own mistress and could forge herself a place in the world. She would be a wife but Lady Catherine still, and the permanence of that title and identity swathed her in an immutable sense of security, one she could carry with her into the future, always and forever.

The rest of the book has been removed for enrollment in the KDP Select program. To continue reading, please download the complete novella at Amazon.

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Twisted Austen Starts Tomorrow!

Tomorrow the fun begins! Please check in everyday to read the entire story for free before it disappears. It will become available for purchase on Halloween at Amazon. You still have an opportunity to win I am Lady Catherine plus all three other Twisted Austen tales at AustenAuthors.net, but the giveaway ends tomorrow so hurry up and enter if you're interested. Happy Halloween my fellow Janeites!

Twisted Austen 2017: I Am Lady Catherine

Twisted Austen is back! It's been two years, but I've finally adjusted enough to my trans-Atlantic move to pull together a story in celebration of Halloween. I am Lady Catherine delves into the mind of Lady Catherine de Bourgh, starting at the time when she meets and marries Sir Lewis de Bourgh and continuing through the events of Pride and Prejudice. In my opinion, this story is a bit more hilarious than horrifying, but it keeps with the notion of offering a very different look at one of Austen's classic novel. The fun begins on October 24th and lasts through Halloween, with one part of the tale posting each day. As usual, the complete story will also be released as an ebook on the 31st (it is available now for pre-order if you just can't wait). I hope you'll join me!