I had grand ambitions of writing a new Christmas story or poem parody, as I used to in days of old, but that did not happen. Schade. So how about a few quick limericks, instead? I only spent maybe twenty minutes on these, so forgive the quality (that's why I chose limerick as my medium: it's forgiving). This was inspired by chapter 21 of Pride and Prejudice.
Whilst proclaiming the utmost sincerity,
Miss Bingley's lacks it transparently.
Gaieties still abound
Without her around.
Our Christmas relies not on her verity.
But then we think of the other,
Who left Jane's heart torn asunder.
Since he suffers, too,
(as he ought to do),
Let the sister be blamed for the brother.
Jane Austen commands us most cleverly
To forgive weakness and behaviors unmannerly,
By pride mollified
And the beauty of the grounds at Pemberley.
For slightly more (only slightly) cerebral Christmas offerings, check out the afore mentioned parodies, written about a decade ago:
(warning: this one is kind of depressing)
Happy and healthy holidays to all, however you celebrate, wherever you are. I'll catch you in 2022.